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+--- Thread: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. (/showthread.php?tid=263803)
How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Ombligo - 02-01-2022
Well, at least this one doesn't involve Florida.........
A Connecticut homeowner accidentally set their house ablaze while trying to thaw their property with a flamethrower, according to fire officials in the town of Seymour.
Firefighters responded to the scene of a house fire after 5:30 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 29., officials said in a Facebook post.
On the way, dispatch learned that the owner had been using a flamethrower to melt ice and snow and “accidentally ignited” the side of the home.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/homeowner-using-flamethrower-melt-snow-182458160.html
Homeowners Insurance is going to love that claim.
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Filliam H. Muffman - 02-01-2022
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Racer X - 02-01-2022
I keep telling people here, over and over, that flamethrowers are legal.
Just not always safe, in the hands of idjits. (Been watching WAY too much Supernatural lately, like now)
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Lux Interior - 02-01-2022
"Hey, I want to throw flame at those guys over there!"
An idea that would have gone nowhere, except that he mentioned it to his buddy, who was "Good with tools"
*Paraphrased, for the George Carlin fans - first thing that came to mind.
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - datbeme - 02-01-2022
While flamethrowers can be dangerous, they are sometimes used by farmers and ranchers for land management, and by firefighters performing controlled burns, outlets report.
I'm somehow disappointed they couldn't come up with other practical uses. Come on!
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Numo - 02-01-2022
I hope this guy’s wife never tells him that her feet feel cold.
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Speedy - 02-02-2022
Ammo wrote:
I hope this guy’s wife never tells him that her feet feel cold.
I think after the stunt he pulled her feet are buried so deep in the guy where it doesn’t get cold.
Re: How to warm up your house on a snowy day.. - Tiangou - 02-02-2022
datbeme wrote:
While flamethrowers can be dangerous, they are sometimes used by farmers and ranchers for land management, and by firefighters performing controlled burns, outlets report.
I'm somehow disappointed they couldn't come up with other practical uses. Come on!
W: “SIMPSON’S INDIVIDUAL FLAMETHROWER!”
S: What?
W: “THE NOW FLAMETHROWER! READY BUILT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON’S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR FLAMETHROWER - JUST THE RIGHT FLAME!”
S: For what?
W: “A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!”
S: Such as?
W: Uhmm…Frying up very small pies, cauterizing notes to pigeons’ legs, uh, destroying household pests…
S: Destroying household pests?! How?
W: Well, if they’re bigger than a mouse, you can torch them with it, and if they’re smaller than, you flog them to death with it!
S: Well surely!….
W: “DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-PRIMED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON’S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR FLAMETHROWER, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!”
S: ‘Ospitals!?!?!?!!?
W: Have you ever in a Hospital where they didn’t have FIRE?
S: No, but it’s only a flamethrower!
W: ONLY A FLAMETHROWER?! It’s everything! It’s…it’s waterproof!
S: No it isn’t!
W: All right, it’s water resistant then!
S: It isn’t!
W: All right, it’s water absorbent! It’s a …Super Absorbent Flamethrower! “ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH SIMPSON’S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX FLAMETHROWER! AWAY WITH FLOODS!”
S: You just said it was waterproof!
W: “AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON’S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD PREVENTERS!”
S: You’re mad!
W: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial-
W: There’s this nude woman in a bath holding a flamethrower. That’s great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion.
W: There’s a nude woman in a bath with a doctor–that’s too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that’ll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals...