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+--- Thread: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying (/showthread.php?tid=67398)
Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - cbelt3 - 12-02-2008
My 48 year old brother is dying. He's been handicapped since he was born, but it didn't get obvious until he was three- he's a year younger than me. I have a childhood memory of this adorable toddler with a tight cap of golden curls. He used to follow me around and we would play all day long together. He was the most awesomest little brother. He's my only brother- we have four sisters.
Severe epilepsy, cerebral palsy, learning disabilities, scoliosis. My parents took it all in stride, and so did we. We took care of him, taught him how to walk and talk a couple of times (he would forget after severe epileptic episodes). We learned to call the emergency rooms in the area to see who was less busy after he had seizures and fell. We learned to be patient with him. I learned to tell him jokes at just right time- when he had a mouthful of food or drink, and to time the punchline so the spit-take would spray one of my annoying little sisters.
For years my mother was told by a varying array of doctors - "Put him in an institution, he'll die before he is X". X kept changing, but it was always 5 years from then. My mother's stubborn optimism and boundless hope kept my brother alive his whole life. She pushed, she prodded, and hoped. Always hoped.
But he's past hope. He cannot swallow, and he's not getting that back. He's pretty much out of it- to tired and almost comatose to crack a joke or get up a smile. And he doesn't want any more procedures. Mom asked him, and he shook his head. We had a family meeting / teleconference with us all- my one sister and I via cell phone and iChat, cause we're the out of towners.
And we all decided to let him go. I'll drive down to sit with him for a few days soon. And say good bye, love you, thank you for being my little brother, and I'll see you (I hope) someday.
And I'll tell you jokes so you can spit spaghetti at my annoying sister.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - Zoidberg - 12-02-2008
Words escape me; I'm very sorry to hear of it.
BTW, the image of the spit-take is priceless. I can remember learning that timing myself...
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - kanesa - 12-02-2008
My heart goes out to you and your family. What a loving tribute to your brother. Sounds like you were the best big brother for him.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - vicrock - 12-02-2008
Wow - I don't know what to say.
Part of me rejoices that he has had 48 years when all the medics had nothing but gloom and doom about his prognosis. And part of me rejoices that he is able to make a choice and has a family that will support him in that choice.
But then I am very sad for all of his family members who have loved and made his life as full as it could be for 48 years and who now must watch all that slip away.
Codolences, cbelt3.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - MacGurl - 12-02-2008
I am SO sorry.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - lafinfil - 12-02-2008
Anyone that has ever been in the position of having to makes these decisions knows
that there are really no words to describe what you are going through.
Take solace in knowing that you have all done the very best that you could, and have made his life better
and there is nothing more that can be asked for than that.
I wish you all the strength that you will certainly need in the coming days.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - Pam - 12-02-2008
I too am very, very sorry. Other words escape me.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - rich in distress - 12-02-2008
hold his hand.
hold your parents.
my deepest sympathies.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - mikebw - 12-02-2008
Sounds like you are doing what is best, despite how hard it may be.
Re: Emotional Zombieness...... my brother is dying - freeradical - 12-02-2008
Sorry to hear of this, but I'm sure he has brought joy and fulfillment into your family's life.