Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son.

     I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man.

     As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

    Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

    Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born:

     a Festivus for the rest of us!



    Cosmo Kramer: And is there a tree?

    Frank Costanza: No, instead, there's a pole. It requires no decoration.

    I find tinsel distracting. It's made from aluminum.

    Very high strength-to-weight ratio. 



    Frank Costanza: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around,

    and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!



    Frank Costanza: The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances.

    I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it.

    You, Kruger. My son tells me your company STINKS!

    George Costanza: Oh, God.