12-18-2009, 04:23 AM
http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/15/the-100...09-100-91/
Here's a selection...
15. Miley Cyrus Got Dissed by Her Favorite Band at the Grammys (3,412)
Miley Cyrus might be catnip to the tween crowd, but she doesn't do a whole lot for Radiohead, who turned down her request for a face-to-face meeting at the Grammys. Stunned by this snub from her "favorite band," Miley declared that she was going to "ruin" them. It wasn't clear if the 16-year-old was kidding or is delusional.
80. Have Faith in Jesus but Need Post-Rapture Pet Care? (1,904 Diggs)
Are you a Christian worried about what will become of your pet after the Rapture comes and your furry friend isn't allowed to ascend to Jesus's kingdom with you? Contact Eternal Earthbound Pets, which, for a fee of $110, will set you up with a confirmed, no-chance-of-being-saved atheist who will take care of your pet in the fiery hell that has become of the post-Rapture earth. The service guarantees maximum of between 18-24 hours from realization of the Rapture to animal rescue. After seeing this article, Asylum sat down with Eternal Earthbound Pets founder Bart Centre for an interview.
4. No Dating, Thanks, Just Sex (3,105)
It turns out women in New Zealand have twice as many sex partners as their counterparts in Australia and England, and three times the global average. So sexually aggressive are New Zealand women that 29 percent of Kiwi men report having been forced into sex unwillingly. We have no doubt these findings will do as much for New Zealand tourism as "The Lord of the Rings" did.
49. T-Shirts Portraying Evolution Causes Stir at Missouri High School (2,337)
To promote a fall music program called "Brass Evolutions" a Missouri high school teacher made up T-shirts depicting the famous "ascent of man" image of evolution, only this time with both monkey and man holding a trumpet. This was too much for the school's administration, who asked that all the shirts be turned in because district law requires the school to remain neutral in religious matters. "Well I'm outraged! A school is clearly no place for science!" Rocknog snarked.
50. Woody Harrelson Claims He Mistook Photographer For Zombie (2,323 Diggs)
After being accused of assaulting a TMZ photographer during an incident at La Guardi airport, Woody Harrelson offered a highly unusual explanation for his behavior: "I just wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," said the actor. "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie." This, folks, is called turning a lemon into marketing lemonade.
19. Man Puts_Crappy_Rusty_Car_on_eBay_Sells_for_$226K (3,246)
An unidentified eBay seller had no idea the rusty old Pontiac he had just inherited was one of only six 1963 LeMans Tempest Super Duty coupes ever made. If he had, he would have never started the bidding at $500. Lucky for the seller, word got out, and the final bid came in at a whopping $226,000. Nashrocketeer got topical when he joked, "Good thing it didn't go in Cash for Clunkers."
Here's a selection...
15. Miley Cyrus Got Dissed by Her Favorite Band at the Grammys (3,412)
Miley Cyrus might be catnip to the tween crowd, but she doesn't do a whole lot for Radiohead, who turned down her request for a face-to-face meeting at the Grammys. Stunned by this snub from her "favorite band," Miley declared that she was going to "ruin" them. It wasn't clear if the 16-year-old was kidding or is delusional.
80. Have Faith in Jesus but Need Post-Rapture Pet Care? (1,904 Diggs)
Are you a Christian worried about what will become of your pet after the Rapture comes and your furry friend isn't allowed to ascend to Jesus's kingdom with you? Contact Eternal Earthbound Pets, which, for a fee of $110, will set you up with a confirmed, no-chance-of-being-saved atheist who will take care of your pet in the fiery hell that has become of the post-Rapture earth. The service guarantees maximum of between 18-24 hours from realization of the Rapture to animal rescue. After seeing this article, Asylum sat down with Eternal Earthbound Pets founder Bart Centre for an interview.
4. No Dating, Thanks, Just Sex (3,105)
It turns out women in New Zealand have twice as many sex partners as their counterparts in Australia and England, and three times the global average. So sexually aggressive are New Zealand women that 29 percent of Kiwi men report having been forced into sex unwillingly. We have no doubt these findings will do as much for New Zealand tourism as "The Lord of the Rings" did.
49. T-Shirts Portraying Evolution Causes Stir at Missouri High School (2,337)
To promote a fall music program called "Brass Evolutions" a Missouri high school teacher made up T-shirts depicting the famous "ascent of man" image of evolution, only this time with both monkey and man holding a trumpet. This was too much for the school's administration, who asked that all the shirts be turned in because district law requires the school to remain neutral in religious matters. "Well I'm outraged! A school is clearly no place for science!" Rocknog snarked.
50. Woody Harrelson Claims He Mistook Photographer For Zombie (2,323 Diggs)
After being accused of assaulting a TMZ photographer during an incident at La Guardi airport, Woody Harrelson offered a highly unusual explanation for his behavior: "I just wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," said the actor. "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie." This, folks, is called turning a lemon into marketing lemonade.
19. Man Puts_Crappy_Rusty_Car_on_eBay_Sells_for_$226K (3,246)
An unidentified eBay seller had no idea the rusty old Pontiac he had just inherited was one of only six 1963 LeMans Tempest Super Duty coupes ever made. If he had, he would have never started the bidding at $500. Lucky for the seller, word got out, and the final bid came in at a whopping $226,000. Nashrocketeer got topical when he joked, "Good thing it didn't go in Cash for Clunkers."