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If you're not under contract with ATT, maybe try going to a reseller that lets you pre-pay. I know ATT has them, just google for ATT reseller or STF for a post I made on the 4S under contract or buy outright. I'm on T-Mo (off contract), so I use Callingmart.com to pre-pay and you can get plans that don't have data.
If you are under contract with ATT, IF you find out what I'm talking about is doable for you, you could look at paying the ETF, you still may come out ahead vs. paying for a data plan you don't need. There are also texting workarounds for older phones like yours that still allow you to text without being on a data plan IIRC. I think Google Voice allows this, also look at iTim.
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Not sure how much you are paying for the other lines, but have you considered H20 Wireless. Someone here mentioned you can used locked iPhones on H20 (AT&T MVNO)? Might save some money or at least get a better plan for a similar outlay.
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I think we're going to try upgrading her 2nd gen 'ipod touch' with the 3GS. One real advantage of the 3GS is iOS5 (ipod cannot go to iOS5) and the built-in microphone.
We'll try wifi-based messaging (good during the school day to parents) and set her up with VOIP like skype.
She can use her phone in free time for messaging to friends, etc.
Thanks for all the suggestions. We're stuck with AT&T for awhile - the reason we have an available 3GS is because we just upgraded two iPhones to 4Ss.