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Friday Funnies
#1
THE NEW WARDROBE
A woman named Rosie buys a new, stand-alone wardrobe for her bedroom. When it is delivered she learns that it comes in a flat box and needs to be assembled. Rosie reads the instructions carefully, counts the pieces then assembles the wardrobe in the bedroom. It looks really great and she is delighted. Now, Rosie lives right next to the railroad tracks and when a train passes by the wardrobe collapses. Undaunted by this misfortune she rereads the instructions and reassembles the wardrobe. Once more, another train passes and the whole wardrobe collapses again. Rosie now frustrated and thinking that she must have done something wrong. She rereads the instructions and reassembles the wardrobe yet again. Shortly, another train passes and the whole wardrobe collapses for the third time. Rosie gives up and calls a local handyman to assemble the wardrobe. The handyman arrives and assembles the wardrobe according to the instructions. However, when the next train passes the wardrobe collapses again. Completely baffled by this unexpected event, the handyman decides to reassemble the wardrobe and sit inside it to see whether he can find out what causes the wardrobe to col- lapse. At this point, Rosie's husband comes home, sees the wardrobe and says, “Oh, that's a nice looking wardrobe,” and he opens it to look inside. The handyman, who had been wondering how to explain his position in Rosie's bedroom wardrobe, blurts out, “You probably won't believe me, but I'm standing here waiting for a train.”



Two Old Guys at Dinner
An elderly couple has dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives leave the table and go into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one says, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.” The other man asks, “What is the name of the restau- rant?” The first man thinks and thinks and finally asks, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.” “Do you mean a rose?” “Yes, that's the one,” replied the man. He then turns towards the kitchen and yells, “Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”



AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
I decided to wash the car. I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to wash the car...but first, I'm going to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail...and notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on the desk and take the trash out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first. Now where is the checkbook? Oops...there's only one check left. My extra checks are in the desk. As I start looking for the checks, I see the soda I was drinking sitting on the desk...I'm going to look for those checks...
But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer... oh, maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while... I head toward the kitchen and the plants catch my eye, they need some water... I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There's my glasses... I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put the glasses away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flowerpots. Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs. I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was go- ing to do...!!??!! Finally, it's the end of the day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder is a serious condition and I'd better get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...
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#2
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
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#3
I find this funny as a sign of the times, but... where are the ventilation holes? And I think, can the parents take them home so they won't hear the kids practicing?

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#4




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#5
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#6
What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist

Confusedmiley-shocked003:
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