Men's blazer question

[john-o]

All I'm saying is that I think the time is past that all men have to wear essentially the same dark suit to formal events, or be accused of being disrespectful!

I'm not talking about wearing torn jeans and a ragged t-shirt with a blazer; I am very capable of looking 'dressed up' (while not being a peacock either), without owning a dark suit.

I'm also generally punctual, and very courteous.

[Bimwad]

I don't think anyone is chastising.

They're just pointing out that "formal" and the options presented aren't quite in the same ballpark, and if you're really aiming for something suitable for such duty (irrespective of what anyone else is wearing), then you may as well opt for the real thing, even if it's not navy blue.

Leather sneakers are still sneakers, and black jeans are still jeans.

And while every situation is different, and not everyone expects, or adheres to, the same standards, many of those standards are more deeply rooted than in currently exhibited behavior.

Those in your circle may not feel disrespected if you don't wear a dark suit to their funerals, but that doesn't change the fact that such attire still does represent a sign of respect, and will continue to do so for a majority of cultures.

As science fiction has taught us, dress uniforms will still exist in the future, and will still be uncomfortable. tartrek2:

[john-o]

Yes, but what some of you guys don't seem willing to accept is that the definition of "dress uniform" can and will evolve over time. For many of us, it already has.

I just really wish you could understand why I'm uncomfortable with the insinuation that I'm being disrespectful if I don't wear a dark suit to a funeral.

[Onamuji]

john-o wrote:
I just really wish you could understand why I'm uncomfortable with the insinuation that I'm being disrespectful if I don't wear a dark suit to a funeral.

It's an indication of respect to show up.

It's a symbol of respect to wear clothing that is appropriate to the occasion.

I know a guy who thinks "formal" means wearing his "good" black sneakers. He doesn't get invited to family-events very often.

[john-o]

Yes, but "clothing that is appropriate to the occasion" doesn't only mean a dark suit. I'm not talking about wearing my "good" black sneakers, not even close. I really don't understand how you all think that I must be talking about that level of dress if I'm not wearing a suit!?! I'm sorry, but that's just classic "old white male" thinking.

[Onamuji]

john-o wrote:
Yes, but "clothing that is appropriate to the occasion" doesn't only mean a dark suit. I'm not talking about wearing my "good" black sneakers, not even close. I really don't understand how you all think that I must be talking about that level of dress if I'm not wearing a suit!?! I'm sorry, but that's just classic "old white male" thinking.

We're talking about a funeral. Yes, you should wear black. Regardless of race or gender or age.

Unless it's one of those weird theme parties that some people throw for their kick-off. In which case, a show of respect would be theme-appropriate.

[john-o]

When did I say I wouldn't wear black?

[Onamuji]

john-o wrote:
When did I say I wouldn't wear black?

Yes, but "clothing that is appropriate to the occasion" doesn't only mean a dark suit.

I don't want to get up on you about this. Obviously our opinions differ. Let's leave it at that.

[bik]

John,
I don't think anybody means to give you a hard time, but you asked for advice about clothing for formal occasions and then proceeded to tell many of the people who offered advice that they are wrong and old fashioned.

I think there is a disconnect in your thinking of formal and modern. There are modern suits. Just because fewer people are dressing up for every occasion, suits haven't gone away. And they haven't stayed the same since the 1940's.

If your family and friends don't get very formal and don't mind a more casual look, good for you. More power to you. But you asked about formal and presented options that are more casual -- that's the disconnect.

[Janit]

john used the phrase "more formal," not "formal." He was thinking on a gradient, but some of the answers were of the "all or none" variety. Hence the disconnect. Also note his use of the word "blazer," which would also indicate he is not thinking of the ultra-formal end of the spectrum.