04-29-2018, 03:33 PM
Two Act Play: Life with a Mandoline, or Be Careful with the Death Machine
Wife: Be careful with that thing, you should not use if for potatoes.
Me: It's OK. I will be careful.
[Wife leaves. I slice potato and slice off a piece of thumb. In trying to extricate myself I manage to slice other thumb. Now I have two thumbs bleeding while hanging over the sink. Wife returns.]
........
[At Urgent Care]
Doctor Christine: Its nothing, just two nasty slices missing. I bet you were using a mandoline? What is it with men and mandolines?
Me: [shrug]
Doctor Christine: You will be fine, just don't use your thumbs for a week.
Wife: Be careful with that thing, you should not use if for potatoes.
Me: It's OK. I will be careful.
[Wife leaves. I slice potato and slice off a piece of thumb. In trying to extricate myself I manage to slice other thumb. Now I have two thumbs bleeding while hanging over the sink. Wife returns.]
........
[At Urgent Care]
Doctor Christine: Its nothing, just two nasty slices missing. I bet you were using a mandoline? What is it with men and mandolines?
Me: [shrug]
Doctor Christine: You will be fine, just don't use your thumbs for a week.