08-08-2019, 03:00 PM
Primum non nocere.
Are we helping?
GeneL identified two needs: financial resources to cover a gap in his income vs. expenses, as he faces a transition out of nursing facility, and help organizing and liquidating collectibles. I'm not saying that everyone's comments aren't well-meaning and caring, but we haven't done a great job addressing the needs directly.
The first (gap between income and expenses) is very difficult to manage with crowdfunding/charity, because the gap recurs cyclically. I know we would like to be able to fix this, but crowdfunding won't sustain GeneL over time.
The second is somewhere the forum might have more expertise. I don't personally know much about collectibles, but we have several vendors on the forum. I don't know if assistance with this task can be outsourced, but if so a crowdfunding campaign might help cover some costs.
There's clearly a lot of personal relationship complexity and pain in this situation, and possibly some abuse of influence. I hope we can all remember that family matters are never clear to outsiders (and often not clear to insiders), and not jump to too many conclusions. I'm concerned for Gene and Mavis, but for now they seem to be safe.
Gene - I wonder if the nursing facility where you are has any kind of patient advocate, or a social worker? That's not usually a "fix," but in my time in healthcare these folks were some of the best, patient-focused folks I met. Having an ally/partner nearby who doesn't have to deal with all the health- and emotion-related stress bugging you can be invaluable!
Are we helping?
GeneL identified two needs: financial resources to cover a gap in his income vs. expenses, as he faces a transition out of nursing facility, and help organizing and liquidating collectibles. I'm not saying that everyone's comments aren't well-meaning and caring, but we haven't done a great job addressing the needs directly.
The first (gap between income and expenses) is very difficult to manage with crowdfunding/charity, because the gap recurs cyclically. I know we would like to be able to fix this, but crowdfunding won't sustain GeneL over time.
The second is somewhere the forum might have more expertise. I don't personally know much about collectibles, but we have several vendors on the forum. I don't know if assistance with this task can be outsourced, but if so a crowdfunding campaign might help cover some costs.
There's clearly a lot of personal relationship complexity and pain in this situation, and possibly some abuse of influence. I hope we can all remember that family matters are never clear to outsiders (and often not clear to insiders), and not jump to too many conclusions. I'm concerned for Gene and Mavis, but for now they seem to be safe.
Gene - I wonder if the nursing facility where you are has any kind of patient advocate, or a social worker? That's not usually a "fix," but in my time in healthcare these folks were some of the best, patient-focused folks I met. Having an ally/partner nearby who doesn't have to deal with all the health- and emotion-related stress bugging you can be invaluable!