08-26-2019, 03:55 AM
Janit,
I just saw your post. A Medical Power of Attorney gives a another party, at the choosing of the person who is signing the medical POA (the first party), the right and power to act as the proxy for them in the event that they are either temporarily or permanently incapacitated. It only is in effect while the individual is incapacitated, and does not give the chosen person the ability to do anything unless and until that event happens. I hold one for my mom. If Mom decides to tear it up and go without one or assign someone else to it, then I am legally obligated to accept her decision. She can change it at any time.
So, does Mavis have one, and who holds it if she does? If it was ever drawn up, Mavis should have a copy of it at the house. And yes, it would go a very long way to protect her from her daughter.
Do you know anything about the details of the trust? Are there papers in the house about the trust? Does Mavis have a medical Proxy? Would she be willing to make you medical proxy? If she does, that would go a long way to protect her from her daughter.
You need to be calm when you talk to her about this -- very difficult, I know, given your own situation, but arguing will just upset her more. Reach into yourself for calmness, and for your most logical and kind self.
Recalibrate and start small. Better to say to her she is right to worry about what her daughter will do. That's why it's a good idea to talk to a lawyer just to get information to understand the situation. She doesn't need to tell her daughter she is talking to a lawyer. After talking to a lawyer, it will become more clear what is the wisest way to address her daughter's behavior. She is not required to take the lawyer's advice, but she can listen and then decide for herself.
You need to push without pushing.
I just saw your post. A Medical Power of Attorney gives a another party, at the choosing of the person who is signing the medical POA (the first party), the right and power to act as the proxy for them in the event that they are either temporarily or permanently incapacitated. It only is in effect while the individual is incapacitated, and does not give the chosen person the ability to do anything unless and until that event happens. I hold one for my mom. If Mom decides to tear it up and go without one or assign someone else to it, then I am legally obligated to accept her decision. She can change it at any time.
So, does Mavis have one, and who holds it if she does? If it was ever drawn up, Mavis should have a copy of it at the house. And yes, it would go a very long way to protect her from her daughter.
Janit wrote:
[quote=GeneL]
Wow, Markintosh!
I just would be so happy if a story like yours could motivate Mavis.
Unfortunately, at any mention of some kind of action, Mavis becomes hysterical. She is just so fearful of her daughter.
Do you know anything about the details of the trust? Are there papers in the house about the trust? Does Mavis have a medical Proxy? Would she be willing to make you medical proxy? If she does, that would go a long way to protect her from her daughter.
You need to be calm when you talk to her about this -- very difficult, I know, given your own situation, but arguing will just upset her more. Reach into yourself for calmness, and for your most logical and kind self.
Recalibrate and start small. Better to say to her she is right to worry about what her daughter will do. That's why it's a good idea to talk to a lawyer just to get information to understand the situation. She doesn't need to tell her daughter she is talking to a lawyer. After talking to a lawyer, it will become more clear what is the wisest way to address her daughter's behavior. She is not required to take the lawyer's advice, but she can listen and then decide for herself.
You need to push without pushing.