04-23-2007, 05:37 AM
We have a son who is a freshman engineering major at UTexas, and is on the Dean's List.
And we have a daughter who is a junior in high school, is a three year varsity athlete and a National Merit finalist.
Both are wonderful, excellent students, clear headed with strong self-esteem and are very mature.
I know from personal experience what the original poster was describing. I would definitely agree with the original proposition. Girls are MUCH nastier to each other. It starts in about 4th grade and accelerates in about 6th grade, as social status becomes more important and each girl is trying to find her relative place; what clique she ends up in.
What appears to happen is that boys solve their issues by throwing down; getting in each other's faces. Guys are open and clear in their confrontations. After the confrontation, the issue is often forgotten, and the guys can be friends again.
Girls, on the other hand, fight with their brains, which is much more vicious. They attack each other psychologically. They can be superficially nice to each other face to face, and unbelievably nasty to each other behind each other's back. They plan. They plot. They connive. We had a MUCH more difficult time shepherding our daughter through 4th-9th grade than we did our son. Girls are just nasty to each other. Fortunately, we maintained a close relationship with our daughter, and she was open to us with what she was going through. The fact that she was an athlete and was smart gave her social status that helped her deal with the attacks on her ego and self-esteem. Even so, it was often very difficult.
There is lot of truth in the movie Mean Girls.
Guys start to become subject to these attacks as girls and guys start dating seriously. Ask any guy about
how girls say things are fine when they are not,
how they can be obtuse in an argument,
how the guy gets in trouble for stuff he has no clue about,
how girls will crush you if you get in a "list argument..."
how you can never tell why they are mad or happy.
Guys are clueless about this stuff. This is because we have never learned how to confront this way. We tend to be way too literal to confront women in their ring. Against women, we are unarmed.
Which would I prefer? I would prefer my kids. Heh.
My wife is probably closer to my son and me to my daughter... mainly because our senses of humor match that way. My wife and son often think our jokes are stoopid. What do they know?
But we are fortunate. My wife and I have stayed very involved with our kids even as we gave them freedom and opportunity to mature on their own. A very difficult and fine line. We had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. And through it all we have developed a wonderful family relationship. We are very blessed.
And we have a daughter who is a junior in high school, is a three year varsity athlete and a National Merit finalist.
Both are wonderful, excellent students, clear headed with strong self-esteem and are very mature.
I know from personal experience what the original poster was describing. I would definitely agree with the original proposition. Girls are MUCH nastier to each other. It starts in about 4th grade and accelerates in about 6th grade, as social status becomes more important and each girl is trying to find her relative place; what clique she ends up in.
What appears to happen is that boys solve their issues by throwing down; getting in each other's faces. Guys are open and clear in their confrontations. After the confrontation, the issue is often forgotten, and the guys can be friends again.
Girls, on the other hand, fight with their brains, which is much more vicious. They attack each other psychologically. They can be superficially nice to each other face to face, and unbelievably nasty to each other behind each other's back. They plan. They plot. They connive. We had a MUCH more difficult time shepherding our daughter through 4th-9th grade than we did our son. Girls are just nasty to each other. Fortunately, we maintained a close relationship with our daughter, and she was open to us with what she was going through. The fact that she was an athlete and was smart gave her social status that helped her deal with the attacks on her ego and self-esteem. Even so, it was often very difficult.
There is lot of truth in the movie Mean Girls.
Guys start to become subject to these attacks as girls and guys start dating seriously. Ask any guy about
how girls say things are fine when they are not,
how they can be obtuse in an argument,
how the guy gets in trouble for stuff he has no clue about,
how girls will crush you if you get in a "list argument..."
how you can never tell why they are mad or happy.
Guys are clueless about this stuff. This is because we have never learned how to confront this way. We tend to be way too literal to confront women in their ring. Against women, we are unarmed.
Which would I prefer? I would prefer my kids. Heh.
My wife is probably closer to my son and me to my daughter... mainly because our senses of humor match that way. My wife and son often think our jokes are stoopid. What do they know?
But we are fortunate. My wife and I have stayed very involved with our kids even as we gave them freedom and opportunity to mature on their own. A very difficult and fine line. We had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. And through it all we have developed a wonderful family relationship. We are very blessed.