09-16-2008, 06:33 PM
Such a person can be difficult, if you can't get away when you want to.
If he starts initiating his rants at work or in a way that makes you not want to hear it, you may have to spell out some firm limits to how much you are willing to participate, even by listening, even by being in the same room.
If he does not honor these limits, just walk out while he is talking. Don't resist, don't argue,. don't accuse, don't apologize, just politely disengage and leave. Do this until he gets the message.
Then you can establish a new relationship along boundaries that are acceptable to you.
You may find some helpful hints in literature on dealing with abusive people, because the pattern of control is similar.
It is always difficult dealing with people whose minds are so made up that stuff only comes out of them and nothing new goes in.
If he starts initiating his rants at work or in a way that makes you not want to hear it, you may have to spell out some firm limits to how much you are willing to participate, even by listening, even by being in the same room.
If he does not honor these limits, just walk out while he is talking. Don't resist, don't argue,. don't accuse, don't apologize, just politely disengage and leave. Do this until he gets the message.
Then you can establish a new relationship along boundaries that are acceptable to you.
You may find some helpful hints in literature on dealing with abusive people, because the pattern of control is similar.
It is always difficult dealing with people whose minds are so made up that stuff only comes out of them and nothing new goes in.