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Accumulate them when we fly.
Use them when we have enough.
Keep them active if they're about to expire with small purchases or donations.
But don't seek them out through linked charge cards or outright purchase of them.
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I earn the equivalent of 2-4 business class tickets to Europe every year (and use them for that purpose, for me and family). Plus always get automatically upgraded to first when travelling domestically. 2-3 free checked bags always, depending on destination. TSA Pre-checked lanes. Fast lanes and good lounges internationally. Free lounge membership domestically. Free spouse lounge membership and 1-2 friends annually nominated to Gold status. Add Global Entry (not miles-related). What's not to like?
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Like dk62, I enjoy many of the same perks and find that frequent flier membership is worth the effort. I fly roughly 100,000 miles per year and hold gold status on both United and Delta. I personally don't typically use the miles I earn, but my nieces and nephews enjoy some free travel from time to time.
That said, the FF programs have all eroded over the 25 years I've been a FF member.
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When I fly, I sign up for or get credit from the corresponding frequent flyer program. However, the only reward I've ever reaped was a few free round-trip southwest airlines tickets back when you only need 8 RTs. I sold them for $300/each since I usually flew routes that I could get for $100 RT. I did use the drink coupons though!
I much prefer getting between 2% and 5% cash back on my everyday expenses instead of airline miles. I don't want miles to "wag the dog" when I'm planning my trip. Airlines can go defunct along with their frequent flier miles whereas cash can earn returns until spent.
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I find the programs a necessary evil. The biggest benefit, IMO, is not the free flights but the treatment FF receive from being loyal customers. Getting to choose any coach seat on the plane, free baggage check, early boarding (this is huge if you have any carryon to stow!), all make it worthwhile. And I guess it wasn't too bad to be able to flight 3 people to my daughter's wedding this summer using the program.
However, in terms of rewards, I really value the Starwood's hotel rewards program. Often you can get a hotel room for 7000 points that might be worth $200 or more. Considering airplane rewards start at about 25000-30000 miles for perhaps a $350 flight, this is a very good deal indeed. Remember, when you take a trip, you only fly once, but you may stay in a hotel multiple nights. During the wedding, we camped out in the Sheraton and the 5th night was free!
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I prefer the train. We have an Amtrak Guest Rewards card (a Chase Mastercard), which earns a point for every dollar you spend. We are currently in Maryland visiting and the trip from Boston was free (4,000 points gets you a free coach ride anywhere on the NE Corridor). In the past we've gotten free rides to New Orleans (on the Southern Crescent) and from Seattle (on the Empire Builder), and paid for daughter and family (4 plus baby at the time) to travel from Richmond to Boston, and back. We use the Amtrak card for all purchases, including RE taxes, so the points add up fairly quickly.
By the way, I find the term 'points' more honest than 'miles'. Airline 'miles' are nothing of the kind, as I found out when we had an AE Delta card. And with Amtrak points, you can easily figure out how much you need for any given destination.
/Mr Lynn