Sorry I’m late! Friday Funnies

[DP]

[Rick-o]

[Todd's keyboard]

Fashionistas were shocked when Lady Gaga first appeared in a meat dress. Gordon Ramsey was heard to comment, "As long as it's in good taste."

Todd's rare keyboard

[Spiff]

What is wrong with the Christmas alphabet?

Noel.

-------

A young man was trying to find the perfect gift for his wife for Christmas. His search was difficult and long. On Christmas Eve, he was wandering the streets, looking into store windows, trying to find the perfect gift. He finally stopped in an old curio shop. The owner behind the counter asked how he could help. After hearing the story, he said, "I think I might have the gift you want".

He went to the back and came out with a bird. An ordinary looking bird. The owner said "this is Chet". The young man asked what was so special about the bird. The owner said, "watch this!". The owner lit a match and put it under one claw. The bird lifted the claw up and started singing, "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way!".

The young man was incredulous. The owner said, "but wait, there's more". He lit a match and put it under the other claw. The bird started singing, "Deck the halls with bows of holy!"

The young man was very excited. He asked if he could try. The owner handed over the matchbook. The young man lit a match and put it under the first claw. The bird began to sing: "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way!".

On a whim, the young man lit a match and put it between the birds claws. The bird stood up straighter and started singing: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire!"

[lost in space]

Good ones!miley-laughing001:

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else-a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".

The man shakes his head.

"No, they're all at the funeral."

[RAMd®d]

"No, they're all at the funeral."


A really nice payoff for what I thought was going to be a long way to tip a rarie.

To be fair, shaggy dog stories, particularly the one I alluded to, are typically much much longer.

[gadje]

sorry I am late, I just found this gem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWJK1Fz7ETc