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WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being forcibly taken from their marital unions after President Obama dropped the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this week, leaving the institution completely vulnerable to roving bands of homosexuals. "It was just awful—they smashed through our living room window, one of them said 'I've had my eye on you, Roger,' and then they dragged my husband off kicking and screaming," said Cleveland-area homemaker Rita Ellington, one of the latest victims whose defenseless marriage was overrun by the hordes of battle-ready gays that had been clambering at the gates of matrimony since the DOMA went into effect in 1996. "Oh dear God, why did they remove the protection provided by this vital piece of legislation? My children! What will I tell my children?" A video communique was sent to the media late yesterday from what appears to be the as-yet unidentified leader of the gay marauders, who, adorned in terrifying warpaint, announced "Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."
The Onion
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That made me think of the movie, "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming".
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Sorry to throw a wet blanket on your party, again, but you missed this piece apparently,
WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being denied healthcare after President Obama dropped the Affordable Healthcare Act Act earlier this week, leaving the people completely vulnerable to roving bands of doctors and hospitals. He cited recent court rulings and declared this act unconstitutional.
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Wags wrote:
WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being forcibly taken from their marital unions after President Obama dropped the Defense of Marriage Act earlier this week, leaving the institution completely vulnerable to roving bands of homosexuals. "It was just awful—they smashed through our living room window, one of them said 'I've had my eye on you, Roger,' and then they dragged my husband off kicking and screaming," said Cleveland-area homemaker Rita Ellington, one of the latest victims whose defenseless marriage was overrun by the hordes of battle-ready gays that had been clambering at the gates of matrimony since the DOMA went into effect in 1996. "Oh dear God, why did they remove the protection provided by this vital piece of legislation? My children! What will I tell my children?" A video communique was sent to the media late yesterday from what appears to be the as-yet unidentified leader of the gay marauders, who, adorned in terrifying warpaint, announced "Richard Dickson of Ames, Iowa. We're coming for you next. Put on something nice."
The Onion
That's not real, is it? I mean, it kind of reads like something from "The Onion . . . ?"
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Dakota wrote:
Sorry to throw a wet blanket on your party, again, but you missed this piece apparently,
WASHINGTON—Reports continue to pour in from around the nation today of helpless Americans being denied healthcare after President Obama dropped the Affordable Healthcare Act Act earlier this week, leaving the people completely vulnerable to roving bands of doctors and hospitals. He cited recent court rulings and declared this act unconstitutional.
Don't quit your day job.
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It hurts, I know. Try keeping a smile on your face.
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O the Homanity !
I particularly like the NPR interview with the lady from the DOJ.
"If Congress wants to argue this law, they can get their own lawyer." A very matter of fact statement, with a nice little vocal 'smirk' at the end. I can imagine she about died laughing after they turned off the recorder.
I wonder if Congress is going to make this a constitutional issue. I hope not, they've got more important things to do.
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