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Red stapler. I need a clever line
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10-24-2012, 11:14 PM
My boss just bought his first building after 10+ years in business. We're going to move into it Friday. I bought him a red stapler (a la Office Space) because he's a fan of the movie and it seemed an appropriate gift (no more moving around). I'm trying to think of something clever to say to tie it all together, but so far, no luck. Any suggestions?
10-24-2012, 11:42 PM
"I, I, I'm going to set the building on fire."
or "It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael [or insert his name here], we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements." - Peter Gibbons
10-24-2012, 11:59 PM
Well, I hope it is a Swingline stapler. It won't bind up as much.
Tell him to take the office where he can have a window and watch the squirrels, and they're married, but here's a Swingline stapler, because it won't bind up as much as Boston staplers. Or something... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/quotes Adapt an appropriate quote from Milton.
10-25-2012, 12:09 AM
For 10 years you've been a staple of the community....
You've been a staple in my life for 10 years.... Your "office space" has been a staple in the community for 10 years... etc...
10-25-2012, 02:20 AM
Geez, I thought the song *was* about me, *and* that I bought the only RED collector's edition Swingline Stapler ever sold :-)
 actually, it reminded me of stapling as a kid... (w/ its special, small staples)  Maybe a line about the gift representing helping the company "stick together" for another 10, 20, 30 years in its new digs... you know, made it 10+ years w/o big red, now w/ the new digs ++AND++ the new red implement, even grander things await. /// |
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