Posts: 57,816
Threads: 5,861
Joined: May 2025
Reputation:
4
Admittedly she did not say " I want ". In fact she said " if you asked for a divorce I would give you one."
Bad year, bad month, and a terrible horrible no good day at work . Ended with dinner out, an angry wife , and me hiding into my iphone . Fine .. I was a jerk. But ... Jesus !
Is this a thing ? I just can't believe she even used the word ... This has seriously messed up my head.
For the record my response was shock and anger and despair . And a " for the record I love you and I will never want a divorce .."
I find myself fantasizing about moving out for a month....
Posts: 24,633
Threads: 1,093
Joined: May 2025
You've got my friendship, admiration, support and positive thoughts headed your direction.
I mostly leave advice to people who are not 40-something bachelors (me).. As their advice is probably more useful.
Posts: 54,633
Threads: 1,943
Joined: May 2025
Reputation:
2
Flowers and a big apology.
Posts: 24,633
Threads: 1,093
Joined: May 2025
Speedy wrote:
Flowers and a big apology.
Even to a bachelor, this does not sound like bad advice...
Posts: 9,822
Threads: 277
Joined: Aug 2024
Reputation:
0
Stress from work
OR
Stress from you
Thats the difference
Posts: 10,399
Threads: 2,662
Joined: May 2025
Reputation:
0
cbelt, I'm very sorry that you have had such a difficult night. Posting here is a good indication of your frustration level and also how much you value the help offered here. Not knowing anything about your situation I will only offer very simple suggestions. Take some time to cool down, consider that faults usually lie with both parties, and then apologize and seek assistance. Apologizing is usually the hard part (at least for me) but someone has to give a little bit before healing can begin.
I wish the best to both you and your wife.
Posts: 14,631
Threads: 2,362
Joined: Apr 2014
Reputation:
0
Naturally you and your wife both have my support cbelt3 . . .
That said sometimes levity can help.
Three weeks of each month women love a man with and strong a jaw, clear eyes and a good sense of humor.
Two weeks of the month women prefer a man with duct tape across his mouth, handcuffed and a flaming spear in his chest.
This study was initially conducted at UCLA and has since been discontinued
*(:>*
Posts: 2,772
Threads: 638
Joined: Oct 2024
Woman's point of view.
I've been with the same man for 44 years, 14 married, 30 before that.
You might try (I stress TRY) to discuss the fact that all marriages have weak patches, it's just the nature of the beast.
I recently saw a quote from Fred Rogers that said "Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."
Boy did that quote strike a chord.
I would be exceptionally kind and caring, but bring up the fact that you do, indeed, love her, and ask her to look in her heart and ask her if she loves you. Since you are married, I will assume that you are going through a rough patch and she does indeed love you.
Then you both need to work on a way to get past this.
My sister has been married 5 times, and I just watch her marry basically the same man over and over (not really but they are all very similar), never asking why her marriages fail. I think it's because she doesn't understand the basic structure of marriage.
To me, it is a life long commitment that will have ups and downs, but will, in the long run be an enriching and rewarding journey for both parties.
Best of luck.
I look back on the times when we've had hard times, and I am SO GLAD that we decided to keep with our commitment to each other. Hope it all works out for you both.
Kate
