01-17-2010, 02:05 AM
Grosss stuff... nah. Been there. I worked summers during college as a maintenance man / super for an apartment management company. Mostly "B" and "C" apartments in the hlllbilly havens and 'hoods.
My two fave calls of all time were in the same apartment building in the 'hood.
#1- Was being met at the door by a very naked, very stoned, and very horny approx 500 lb woman. Who proceeded to pat my 19 year old ass as I fixed her dishwasher, and make all kinds of suggestions. Fortunately I have a strong resistance to puking.
#2- Was opening the door with the pass key after knocking and calling "Maintenance" for about 3 minutes, walking in carrying my bag o tools, and having a .38 stuck in my face by a hopped up junky screaming 'yo de cops ?'. I calmly explained that I wasn't and stated that I was going to come back another day when it was 'more convenient'. And backed out of the apartment, closed the door slowly, and then ran and called the cops. Fortunately I had used a bathroom just before that call, so I didn't pee myself. Unfortunately the management docked me for the hour I sat on the floor in the manager's office calming down.
Don't even get me started on cleaning out the abandoned apartments that hillbillies had lived in with their kids and dogs and whatnot. I swear one set had a herd of pigs living there too... I had to use a shovel to scoop out the feces.
My two fave calls of all time were in the same apartment building in the 'hood.
#1- Was being met at the door by a very naked, very stoned, and very horny approx 500 lb woman. Who proceeded to pat my 19 year old ass as I fixed her dishwasher, and make all kinds of suggestions. Fortunately I have a strong resistance to puking.
#2- Was opening the door with the pass key after knocking and calling "Maintenance" for about 3 minutes, walking in carrying my bag o tools, and having a .38 stuck in my face by a hopped up junky screaming 'yo de cops ?'. I calmly explained that I wasn't and stated that I was going to come back another day when it was 'more convenient'. And backed out of the apartment, closed the door slowly, and then ran and called the cops. Fortunately I had used a bathroom just before that call, so I didn't pee myself. Unfortunately the management docked me for the hour I sat on the floor in the manager's office calming down.
Don't even get me started on cleaning out the abandoned apartments that hillbillies had lived in with their kids and dogs and whatnot. I swear one set had a herd of pigs living there too... I had to use a shovel to scoop out the feces.