For those with inquiring minds: I survived the date

[PeterB]

I think one thing michaelb might be trying to point out is that the "social niceties" are sort of a rocky road (impossible to win) for most men. Do you hold open the door? Is that sexist? Is it offensive if you don't? etc. There are lots of problems with these things, and arguments could be made either way for what "should" be done, or what certain behaviors mean, as michaelb suggested.

These things are also complicated by the situational context-- for example, in some parts of Europe, it is considered rude if a man does not enter first in a restaurant-- the argument being that he is "checking it out" to make sure it's safe for the woman (obviously, this has as its roots, a fairly sexist presumption)... in this country, if a guy insisted on doing that, he might be viewed as a control freak or macho-jerk. Or forget about other countries-- how about if it's raining outside, should a man not let a woman go first, open the door for herself, and get in, since you'd be in a rush to get out of the rain? You get my point.

So... my view on such things is-- forget about them. What will matter in the end is if someone is a kind person, and do they mean well, not whether they remember which fork is used for what at dinner.