04-07-2006, 06:31 PM
Silencio, that's sort of my point. We men are pretty much expected to jump the bones of anything female that's within distance, and has a pulse.
That's why I was surprised to hear from the female friends that they're so "yes or no" within such a short period of time-- I think to myself, "if you're so judgmental that you'd decide that within 10 seconds, then you might end up missing out on someone great, just because you decided not to sleep with him in those 10 seconds." And we men are accused of being superficial-- it is true, yes, we are definitely superficial in certain senses-- but not to the point where we would decide in 10 seconds whether or not we'd sleep with a woman. (And of course I truly hope that not all women are like this.) Does that make sense?
dmann, my point was only that-- everyone has these little "expectations"-- I just wouldn't include or exclude someone on the basis of these. To use your example-- sure, blowing your nose into a napkin is gross-- but again, to exclude someone from a date because of it, I don't think is maybe quite fair-- everyone has something gross they do, whether it's picking their nose, biting their fingernails, etc. Everyone has these little expectations they hold of how others should behave. My view: let go of the expectations. If someone doesn't do what you expect them to, maybe they just don't know any better? (It's one thing if they know what's typical and expected and just choose not to do it; it's another if they just aren't aware, and there's no intention to be rude.)
However, I should also add that I was raised in a relatively etiquette-free home... we did do what was generally thought of as considerate behavior, but not the formal, "Miss Manners" type of etiquette... I do realize that I'm not the mainstream in that regard.
That's why I was surprised to hear from the female friends that they're so "yes or no" within such a short period of time-- I think to myself, "if you're so judgmental that you'd decide that within 10 seconds, then you might end up missing out on someone great, just because you decided not to sleep with him in those 10 seconds." And we men are accused of being superficial-- it is true, yes, we are definitely superficial in certain senses-- but not to the point where we would decide in 10 seconds whether or not we'd sleep with a woman. (And of course I truly hope that not all women are like this.) Does that make sense?
dmann, my point was only that-- everyone has these little "expectations"-- I just wouldn't include or exclude someone on the basis of these. To use your example-- sure, blowing your nose into a napkin is gross-- but again, to exclude someone from a date because of it, I don't think is maybe quite fair-- everyone has something gross they do, whether it's picking their nose, biting their fingernails, etc. Everyone has these little expectations they hold of how others should behave. My view: let go of the expectations. If someone doesn't do what you expect them to, maybe they just don't know any better? (It's one thing if they know what's typical and expected and just choose not to do it; it's another if they just aren't aware, and there's no intention to be rude.)
However, I should also add that I was raised in a relatively etiquette-free home... we did do what was generally thought of as considerate behavior, but not the formal, "Miss Manners" type of etiquette... I do realize that I'm not the mainstream in that regard.